The Unbelievable Truth


The Paradoxical Nature of the Universal Mind


This article seeks to explain the creation, structure and function of the universe in terms of paradoxical logic. Its basic premise is that the universe is fundamentally psychological in nature and that, within this mind, paradoxical logic creates two basic ‘laws’ or operational states that explain the existence of all phenomena that can be observed, experienced or logically surmised in the universe.

The Universal Mind is comprised of two paradoxical states – Truth, which is wholly unified, and Delusion which is highly disintegrated. Both states exist because of logic – Truth has no reason to deny its own existence, while Delusion denies its own existence for no reason. A second level of paradox, within the state of Delusion, also exists – an unreasoning fear of existing (experienced as physical ‘death’) and an unreasoning fear of not existing (experienced as physical ‘life’). At the universal level, the mind state of Delusion (mindlessness) creates physicality (a state constructed of limitations) according to its fundamental law of self-contradiction.

The universe as we know it is presented as a complex delusional state that is both a symptom of loss of self-communication and also the raw material out of which a new self-communication system is being constructed. The human experience of confusion over self-identity is discussed as a representation of the universal problem. Some ways in which religion, science and economics are true and delusional are discussed.


This article is based on 23 years intensive psychological research carried out by myself and Robert J. Burrowes. As nonviolent activists, we undertook the research to discover the deep psychological roots of self-destructive human behavior (including our own). The universal level philosophical outcomes have been an unexpected gain, and my interest in integrating information from all fields of human knowledge and experience in order to try to understand the truth has helped me develop the conception of the universe presented briefly here.


It was only when I thought to explain the universe in terms of insanity
that everything finally began to make sense



Jarakis (term created by RJB): the mind paralysed by unreasoning terror

Paradox: the simultaneous existence of two contradictory states

Delusion: a belief in something that is not true, but that is experienced and acted upon as ‘real’ by the mind

Physicality: any universal level state of being constructed by force (which therefore appears ‘real’ but which is fundamentally artificial, unstable and impermanent)

Physics: the study of the specific way forces are limited, and how they interact to construct artificial states of being at the universal/basic physical level

Nonphysical State/Truth: a state of being that is not forced and therefore exists permanently without requiring energy.

Relative Truth: any level of reality which, although created by Delusion, still currently exists.

Self-awareness/Consciousness/Fearless or Unforced Awareness: the capacity of the individual or universal self to internally focus its awareness on aspects (or the totality) of its own functioning and dysfunctioning

Unconsciousness: the unnecessary, unreasonable and inherently painful ‘forgetting’ of how to sense one’s own existence. In the context of this article, to be ‘awake’ as a physical being is not the same as being conscious – one can be awake physically but still in a state of relative or even total unconsciousness (if one is completely mad).

Mind: I use this term to denote both universal level consciousness and universal level unconsciousness, though the latter might also be called a state of ‘Mindlessness’.

Darkness/Invisibility/Memory Loss: Although context may require the use of one of these terms in particular, all of these terms are interchangeable, indicating a lack of capacity to perceive something that is actually there.

Universal Level Emotions: I refer to the universe as a whole as being afraid and in pain. While these states are obviously not experienced at the universal level in the same way as they are at the individual level (as chemical/nervous reactions within a limited physical body), they nonetheless provide the impulse for equivalent behavioural outcomes at the universal level. (The universe tries to escape things that cause it fear and pain.)


The Psychological Universe

The Simplicity of Truth

The Complexity of Delusion

The Physical Universe as a Creation of Delusion

A Universal Awareness (Subconscious Mind) Within the Physical Universe?

Outcomes of Disintegration: Reassurance, Conflict and Evolution

The Human Experience: To Be or Not To Be

Will Universal Consciousness of the Truth Occur?

The Logic of Contradiction, Limitation and Entropy

Does the Universe Have a Purpose?

Summary of Key Concepts

Truth and Delusion in Religion, Science and Economics

Further Issues in Science and Religion


Note: An Explanation of Fearless or Unforced Awareness



The Psychological Universe

My current conception of the universe is that it is, fundamentally, a psychological entity. I believe that the conception of the universe as a mind provides a core understanding which can account for all other aspects (including physical, biological, emotional, spiritual, social and artistic manifestations) of universal existence. However, the Universal Mind as I understand it is not equivalent with a ‘Mind of God’ who created the universe with a clear conscious purpose. Rather, this mind is paradoxical: it has two basic states of being – Truth (or awareness of the Truth) and Delusion (or the denial of awareness of the Truth). To help the reader get a ‘feel’ for this paradox, one should not think of these two states as two entirely separate mentalities (Truth versus Delusion, Positive versus Negative, Good versus Evil) – in paradox there is no concept of ‘either/or’, even though it is difficult to grasp the idea that two opposites can exist at the same ‘time’ in precisely the same ‘space’. As I will explain, each state has an internal logic that defines it, and therefore logic is the feature which unites these two opposite states within the one Universal Self.

The Simplicity of Truth

Some people argue that there is no such thing as an ultimate Truth – that all things are relative, or that subjective perceptions ‘create’ reality in a way that makes all perceptions equally valid (or invalid). However, my experiential research and reasoning so far suggests that the Truth does exist and its nature is as follows: the Truth is a wholly unified state of being. This state is not limited by any form of disintegration or rule (such as time or space, for instance), it is fully aware of itself, it is totally unafraid and loving of its own nature, and it recognises delusion as delusion, and is therefore completely invulnerable to being broken, hurt, confused, manipulated or destroyed. It is possible that I have experienced this unified state of being, or something representing it, once in a dream. As I awoke, I was aware of losing consciousness of an extraordinary (and completely inexplicable) quality of feeling, but I could remember two aspects of the dream clearly: I was in a place which appeared as an unbroken field of white light, and I had a sense of being both where I was (at my viewing point, although I had no body) and everywhere else at the same time. This unified state of being exists ‘eternally’, or more accurately, it is undisintegrated by time and exists simultaneously with the more familiar ‘disintegrated’ universe.

My conception of the True state of being of the universe has some elements in common with a variety of religious and philosophical concepts, including the Vedic concept of Brahma, the Buddhist concept of Enlightenment, Platonic and Stoic conceptions of the ‘ideal god’, some aspects of the Christian concept of God and Islamic concept of Allah, and the recurring ‘white light’ theme of many near-death experiences – these similarities may lend credibility to my ideas or detract from them depending on the reader’s attitude to religious/spiritual conceptions of reality. I was brought up as a fundamentalist atheist, rejecting not only religion, but all possibility of anything that might be described as ‘spiritual’. So, to the extent that I knew of any of these concepts, I was disinclined to take them seriously as possible descriptions of reality. Therefore, it was my own personal emotional and (eventually) simple spiritual experience that formed the foundations of my conclusions about ultimate Truth, and I have only since then gained a sense of connection with some of the spiritual experiences and beliefs of others. Never having lost a strong belief in reason, logic and evidence, however, I had no interest in declaring my ‘faith’ beyond rational explanation and, in fact, I did not find my subjective experience at odds with my intellect. Applying logic to the Truth as I subjectively experienced it, I believe that what I have described as ultimate Truth is the fully functional, undivided state of a sane mind and, by definition, this state has reason to exist: it is logically impossible for Truth to deny its own existence, and if we are referring to the fundamental principle of Truth, that existence must be total (not divided or relational to anything else).

The Complexity of Delusion

So what logic could apply to the fundamental principle of Delusion? When I considered insane attitudes and behaviours of myself and humans generally, I could always trace the dysfunction back to a basic ‘cause’ – terror of, and belief in, the death (non-existence) of the self. But I kept asking myself, why should terror exist in the first place, in a universe which is generally presented by both science and religion as rational (if not well understood)? Eventually a simple answer occurred to me: at the beginning of the universe as we know it, Delusion (alternatively labelled Insanity, the Terror of Awareness or Jarakis) came into existence for no reason at all. This was, paradoxically, entirely logical and inevitable, for it is the nature of insanity to exist without reason: to deny itself awareness of the Truth (the fundamental existence of self) on the delusional basis that awareness of the Truth is frightening and necessary to be avoided. Restated more simply, Delusion is a terrified and insane rejection of awareness of the Truth and it exists (logically) for no reason.

So, rather than continuing to puzzle over the original ‘cause’ of the universe (God’s conscious will or the search for a first physical cause extending impossibly to infinity), if we accept that this universe is in fact a delusional state, it does not actually need a reason to exist. Nothing within the state of Truth caused Delusion to occur – while Truth logically allows itself to exist wholly and forever in an unforced state of being (which is therefore ‘nonphysical’ according to my glossary definition), Delusion artificially forces itself to exist (in a ‘physical’ state) through its own internal logic of self-denial. So, while Truth’s logic causes it to be simple, unified and at peace with itself, Delusion’s logic causes it to be ongoingly self-contradictory, disintegrated, complex and ‘on the run’ from itself.

The fundamental law by which Delusion operates is ‘I deny my existence, and by so doing, create an alternate, false state of being which I believe in and act upon as real’.

The idea that a universal level mind could create an artificial state of being for itself and then believe in this as actual reality may seem strange. However, it is the nature of an unconscious mind to be unaware of its own agency in creating its delusions, which therefore appear as if they are coming from somewhere outside itself, and must be real. To use a human example, cultural and political traditions and institutions are often experienced as immutably real and unchangeable by the humans who invent, believe in and enact them, despite the obvious existence of contradictory traditions and institutions among other groups of people. One might ask, how effective can a mind be at filtering out genuine evidence of reality or deeper truth from its awareness? Using the human example, the answer is: very, very effective.

The Physical Universe as a Creation of Delusion

So, at the beginning of the universe, I believe that the first delusion created and believed in by Delusion was that it had no self – that it was dead. The positive, whole, unlimited, existent no-thingness of Truth was denied, creating a negative nothingness from Delusion’s point of view.

I believe that, at the universal level, delusions create physicality rather than being at odds with it. Physical force is simply the action of Delusion pretending something – a mental ‘movement’ away from the Truth. So, in denying the Truth, Delusion forced itself conceptually into the most limited space imaginable, a tiny point declaring ‘I’m so small that I don’t exist’. It seems logical to assume that Delusion must have created time (as well as limited space) in this process – by jumping ‘forward’, away from its conscious mind, it created a forced field that divided its awareness from its True ‘past’, and thus Delusion lost its memory. (Of course, Delusion’s loss of consciousness did not change the unified, unchanging existence of Truth in any way, it just hid it from view). So, I believe that a tiny, highly forced ‘point’ of spacetime, so limited that it was effectively experienced as no time or space to exist, was created as Delusion fled the reality of unlimited, unified existence. This first delusion might be referred to as the negative Void.

This Void, however, far from being ‘nothing’, was actually the first ‘something’ ever created – a thing which could be defined as being separate from another thing (the Truth). I have recently read that physical scientists have been aware for some time that space, far from being ‘empty’, is full of non-visible ‘dark’ energy. If limited spacetime is a forced state of being – an artificial creation – then it makes sense that it would be imbued with energy, even if it is not energy as we normally think of it. While this energy may be referred to as ‘dark’ or ‘invisible’ energy, it might best be understood as ‘the energy required to make one’s Self (the Truth) invisible’.

If I have explained the creation of the Void in terms of the logic of universal Delusion, what, then, caused the next phase of the physical universe’s state of being, the Big Bang? Why did Delusion not simply remain trapped, unmoving, in the Void state?

It is Delusion’s nature to be unstable – it does not just contradict an original Truth and then ‘stay put’ because its basic operational law is ‘I deny my own existence’. And because the new reality created by Delusion now becomes what it defines as its self, it is compelled to contradict this new reality, as well as the underlying Truth. I think it likely that ‘quantum fluctuations’ are the expression of this instability.

So, in terms of universal evolution, this is when things start getting really complicated. I have to admit that I do not have the expertise in physics to even try to describe different early physical phenomena in terms of exactly what came into being in contradiction to what.

In emotional terms, however, if Delusion was first terrified of its unlimited existence as Truth, and reacted defensively by forcing itself into a tiny prison, it makes sense that it would next react by being terrified of its dark imprisonment. And, compelled by fear to deny its newly created non-existence, Delusion created a state of positive existence (visible energy) moving explosively outward from that point of negative singularity.

If you would like an (inaccurate but useful) visual image to help understand what I have explained so far, you might imagine the Truth as a white piece of paper that is so big that it has no edges, and Delusion as a tiny black dot somewhere on the paper, which from Truth’s point of view, doesn’t really exist, but from Delusion’s point of view has become the entirety of what exists. That is to say Delusion sees a horizonless dark field. Then, out of that dark field (that tiny dot if you are looking at the whole picture) erupts a small expanding cone of light and colour (matter and energy), embedded in the darkness which is expanding along with it (time is progressing, space is expanding). From within the cone of artificial light and darkness, it looks like this cone is the entire universe. The white piece of paper underneath is invisible.

The reason Delusion did not contradict itself, after turning itself into the Void, by simply flipping itself back into a state of awareness of Truth (the white piece of paper), is that it was still afraid of being the Truth, and still unconscious that there was no reason to be afraid. Having invented a ‘cause’ to run away, it was not ready to disbelieve itself and risk turning around to find out the truth. In essence then, Delusion created its own artificial darkness, and then created an artificial ‘nightlight’ so that it could hide from the terrors of the dark. Put another way, being too afraid to return to consciousness of its True whole state (because it would have to consciously face its own terror of existence to do so), Delusion instead created a ‘substitute’ self to falsely reassure itself that it existed.

This nightlight took the form of positive energy (i.e. ‘normal’, visible energy), the four basic laws of physics, and the matter created by these, and the expansion of limited space to three dimensions. I have no strong sense of the existence of more spatial dimensions than three, though I admit to the possibility that Delusion may have ‘thought’ of them before ‘deciding’ on the three that govern our physical universe.

I do not know how Delusion came to unconsciously decide on the specific set of rules (in addition to time) that formed the structural basis of its artificial reality (our universe), or whether the specifics are in fact significant. Delusion may have created any number of alternative ‘positive’ universes that may all serve the same basic purpose – to help it hide from awareness of its terror that it does not exist – but clearly any particular artificial existence must have enough stable structure (relative permanence) to appear genuinely existent or it would not perform its defensive function. It may be that Delusion invented infinite possibilities of universes, some or all of which ‘failed’ to create the reassurance it was looking for, possibly leaving ours as the only one that ‘worked’.

So, in addition to the initial paradox of the simultaneous existence of Truth and Delusion, it is the nature of Delusion itself to be paradoxical – our physical universe is therefore constructed from a delusional negative state (the Void) which has been contradicted by a delusional positive state (the visible universe), both of which exist simultaneously and in a state of continual contradiction to one another.

At this point it starts to become difficult to define any particular force as positive or negative. Fundamentally, all force is negative because it ongoingly denies level after level of its own existence. But each use of force first creates a sense of safety (which could be considered ‘positive’), and then creates a sense of threat (a ‘negative’), leading to the creation of the next opposing force to counter the threat. So, for example, hiding from its True self as the Void first feels safe to Delusion, but then the Void feels horrifyingly constrictive, requiring it to bust out of its prison, into a state that, while still not genuinely ‘free’, is at least less limited than the Void state.

While it becomes somewhat meaningless to label any particular action or reaction of the universe to itself negative or positive, a significant feature of opposing forces is that if they are balanced well enough against each other, they create a state of relative stability. For example, the gravitational force that pulls the universe inwards is balanced against the force of motion that pushes it outwards in a way that creates a relatively slow expansion (after the Big Bang, with its rapid exponential inflation) that has allowed the creation of galaxies, and life. If either force were too dominant, the universe would have collapsed back in on itself, or expanded too fast for matter to coalesce in the way that it has. So, it seems relative stability has bought the universe some time to experience ‘existence’, if only in a relative, delusional form.

However, there can never be any true and permanent stability gained through trying to balance forces, because force of any kind is inherently unstable. For example, a human body can be most energy efficient if it operates according to principles of balanced relaxation and tension of related and opposing muscles (and people with high states of tension and unbalanced posture use more energy to stand up than they need to, and will suffer injuries that may shorten their lifespan), but a human body will not last forever no matter how well it is balanced, because energy efficiency is not the same as a truly unforced zero energy state that requires no force to exist. And the physical universe as a whole, if one takes only physical parameters into account (rather than factoring in the development of consciousness), is clearly on a trajectory to eventually return to a ‘dead’ state (which is predicted to come about through maximum dispersal and loss of usable energy).

So the universe currently appears to be imitating the perfect zero energy of the state of True existence, by balancing forces to achieve a limited, imperfect, not quite zero energy state, which cannot last, but which helps the universe gain an experience of what it means to exist.

The Delusional universe abounds with examples of contradictory forces and states of being, some of which occur in wave form over time, and some of which appear as straight out paradoxes: for example, the universe is in a simultaneous process of construction and deconstruction, as the creation of each new moment is the destruction of the last and, above a certain point of balance, the more energy any living organism or group of organisms applies to gaining control over itself, others or the environment (to create ‘security’), the more conflict, chaos and loss of control is generated.

A Universal Awareness (Subconscious Mind) within the Physical Universe?

Perhaps the most significant paradox of Delusional evolution is that somehow, its seemingly endless unconscious contradictions have the capacity to generate a situation where it can become conscious of the truth about itself.

So, most bizarrely of all (from an atheist’s point of view), I have encountered evidence of a ‘Universal Awareness’ or ‘Subconscious Mind’ (which seems distinct from the ultimate Truth) which appears to know every detail of universal construction (past, present and future) and to be subtly assisting Delusion make the right unconscious moves to eventually develop awareness of itself. Whereas Delusion is a total control freak that only knows how to use force to achieve things, the Universal Awareness appears to work through communication rather than force. Generally speaking, the Universal Awareness allows Delusional force to do its mindless contradictory and lawful/chaotic thing, but occasionally it intervenes in some way to push things slightly in a particular direction. Among other things, I attribute acts which come out of ‘intuition’ – something ‘felt’ and yet not fully known or understood consciously that pushes a person to act in a specific way – to this Awareness. I do not yet fully understand how this Universal Awareness operates, but I can tentatively state that it functions according to the principle of ‘unity’, that is, conscious self-identification with all disintegrated parts. It is possible that this Universal Awareness is the mind state that will occur in our future when Delusion has woken up to itself and, no longer believing in or being constricted by the usual limits of spacetime, is able to ‘go back in time’ to assist its earlier, delusional mentality become conscious. (Time travel paradox is a common theme in science fiction – perhaps this represents more truth than fiction.)

So it may be the case that Delusion usually experiments with all possibilities, or randomly selected possibilities, in its evolution. These either succeed or fail, with the more stable successes determining the pattern of development. As the universe has experienced more, and developed more capacity for memory, it may have developed a greater capacity to judge what will work in the future, taking into account what worked (or didn’t work) to create stability in the past, thus narrowing its experimentation choices. At the same time, the Subconscious Mind/Universal Awareness sometimes filters through to the relatively unconscious mind (at the universal or individual level), giving it a ‘hunch’ that a particular line of experimentation or thought is worth pursuing even though this mind does not yet know why. This would explain why there are clearly vast amounts of random occurrences in the universe, which do not seem driven by any conscious purpose, but occasionally, things happen that make one question their existence as simple coincidence. I think it is possible that theists and atheists are both right and wrong – a conscious awareness is definitely not controlling every last move of the universe for a purpose, but that doesn’t mean there is no communication or direction from a Universal Awareness involved at all.

Outcomes of Disintegration: Reassurance, Conflict and Evolution

There were two particularly significant outcomes of Delusion’s explosive disintegration into a limited ‘positive’ state. Firstly, Delusion gained relief from the terrifying ‘aloneness’ experienced in the Void by sharing the burden of terror amongst many disintegrated parts and creating an environment in which supportive structured relationships and interactions are possible. This was a means to provide Delusion with assistance to find a way out of its dysfunctional state. Secondly, despite Delusion’s desire to control itself so that it would not have to experience terror, conflict (with its constant recreation of threat to existence) is an inevitable and entrenched feature of the disintegrated, forced reality created.

Perpetual internal conflict generated pain, which in turn generated evolution – the drive to find a way to escape the pain by, paradoxically, inventing both new ways to hide from awareness of the pain, and structures capable of perceiving the cause of the pain, removing this cause and thus permanently eradicating the pain. This paradox is evident in the way human minds have a natural compulsion to know about the nature of themselves and the world, and use their sensing, emotional, conceptual and behavioural capacities in this pursuit, while simultaneously using an extraordinary variety of mental ‘tricks’ to avoid awareness of reality, thus managing to keep themselves in a state of either (totally false) delusion, or very limited (relatively true) awareness, that feels ‘safe’ and familiar.

In essence, then, the Delusional universe exists both as a symptom of loss of self-communication and also as the raw material out of which a new self-communication system is being constructed. This construction is both symbolic and physical in nature. At many different levels, the unconscious universe is compelled to keep recreating its own self-conflict, in form after form. So we could say the universe ongoingly paints pictures (or writes stories or acts plays) representing its problem of loss of self-awareness. At the same time, the self-contradictions of the universe have resulted in a process (evolution) which has led to the development of life-forms (‘mini-minds’ within the greater Mind) which have varying capacities, interests, levels of sophistication, and tendencies toward conflict and cooperation with other mini-minds, as a way of providing the universe with the means to consciously experience, observe and comprehend the pictures it has painted for itself. None of these minds are true individual selves – in one sense, they are ‘defences’ against Delusion’s awareness of itself as a single universal Mind. I think of individual minds (including humans) as being examples of artificial intelligence – unconscious, biological ‘robots’ created by a larger unconscious Mind that are programmed to believe in their own existence as separate ‘selves’, and who thus believe and feel themselves to be ‘alive’ when really they are an artificial construction. However, regardless of how genuinely ‘real’ we are, the experience of self and loss of self at the individual level is a key evolutionary factor assisting Delusion’s comprehension of its problem at the universal level.

The Human Experience – To Be or Not To Be?

Issues of self are particularly problematic for humans as a species because of the way social pressure (both gross and subtle) within the family and at the wider social level encourages individuals to lose confidence in their capacities for independent sensing, feeling, remembering, thinking, evaluating and behaving. This suppression of the individual is usually presented as being for the ‘good of society’ (or for the good of other individuals considered more ‘important’, ‘expert’ or ‘hard done by’), and with the promise that there will be benefits for the individual that make it ‘worth’ the sacrifice of their own self-trust. During the process of socialisation, individuals become so used to taking on socially imposed beliefs, roles, routines and activities that these become unconscious habits and thus become part of the new self-identity of the individual. Underneath, however, there are constant rumblings from the original self who seeks to remind the socialised ‘identity’ that their original independent nature still exists and does not appreciate being shunted into the darkness of unconscious memory. Each human mind is therefore in a constant state of war with itself, with the natural self seeking safety through independent mental functioning and behaviour, and the social ‘anti-self’ seeking safety through the suppression of independence and obedience to socially defined rules. The situation becomes even more confusing when one considers that social rules are not only often in conflict with natural rules, but also highly inconsistent in themselves. Every person has a different set of rules that define danger and safety – a jumble of emotional/perceptual/behavioural programs that have been copied from others and unconsciously invented by their own mind when genetic and socially copied programs for escaping danger fail. Therefore, as every child knows, it is not always possible to please Mummy and Daddy at the same time (let alone all of one’s siblings, friends, teachers, bullies, neighbours etc), and there are some people who seemingly cannot be pleased at all, regardless of how hard one tries to understand and obey their rules.

Humans have therefore managed to turn the definition of self and the rules of threat and safety into a state of overwhelming confusion and this has led to an exceedingly chaotic, conflictual and painful state of affairs for each human individual and for life on the planet as a whole. This state of conflict is not necessarily experienced consciously by each individual – a general effect of socialisation is to suppress the individual’s display and therefore consciousness of their emotional responses to internal, social and environmental conflict. Additionally, brains have a natural tendency to desensitise themselves to conflictual phenomena that they can’t easily control. And the human brain, more than that of any other living organism, is the specialist, when things get really difficult, of simply ‘pretending this isn’t happening’ by focusing on something less frightening and painful. Temporary desensitisation can have the functional effect of allowing an organism to get relief and thus ‘survive’ in extremely adverse circumstances. However, ‘trained’ or habitual desensitisation such as that encouraged by human society leads to a state of permanent insensitivity that causes the organism to powerlessly ‘put up with’ or ignore threats to its self, fail to act with sensible insight in defence of itself, and take refuge in delusions of control over itself and its environment. Humans therefore have a remarkable capacity to live in and recreate ‘hell’ for themselves, while believing, and even feeling at a superficial level, that they have their lives under control.

As dire as this general situation may seem, from the point of view of universal evolution, Delusion has never had a better opportunity for developing consciousness of its own confused mental state and questioning its original insane assumption that its own True unified, unruled and profoundly sensible self was something that it needed to fear.

Will Universal Consciousness of the Truth Occur?

        The Logic of Contradiction, Limitation and Entropy

Ultimately, I believe that at the point where Delusion has fully communicated with itself about itself (via the universe of physicality, events and mini-minds it has created to represent itself), it will cease to exist, no longer believing its own self-denying delusions and instead, perceiving and identifying with its underlying True fearless, self-loving and unified nature.

I believe this will happen for three reasons. Firstly, the fact that Delusion is an unstable state which causes it to be of limited existence means that it is logical that Delusion’s internal contradictions will inevitably lead to the rediscovery of consciousness. (Everything that has a beginning must have an end).

Secondly, the self-contradictory nature of Delusion means that it only has a limited amount of energy available to create delusions, and once this energy has been used up, it will simply run out of energy to continue in its Delusional state, and ‘naturally’ revert to Consciousness.

To explain in more detail:
The contradictory and interdependent relationship between opposing forces in the physical universe is different from the relationship between the fundamental Truth (which is genuinely stable) and Delusion. Delusion is compelled by unconscious force to contradict the Truth, and therefore depends on it for its existence, but unforced Truth exists as it is, irrespective of the existence or non-existence of Delusion.

So, from Delusion’s point of view, the Truth is the original ‘Source’ of its capacity to exist, because Delusion had to have something to react to, in order to ‘get started’ in self-denial. But the capacity to genuinely exist through consciousness, and the use of energy to force a false existence are two opposite things. So, just as consciousness allows unlimited existence, unconsciousness creates a limited amount of energy to exist (as delusion). I believe that, when Delusion stole consciousness from itself, creating the original Void, it created a finite quantity of energy to ‘fund’ its existence from that point on. And every time it creates a new delusion (every moment in time as it jumps ahead of itself), it ‘withdraws’ some energy from the previous state of being to do so, and eventually, the bank account will be empty. The universe will literally run out of time to exist. This is the process of entropy working at the primary universal level – the state (the Void) that required the greatest amount of energy to create and maintain, gradually and inexorably moves towards a simpler state (the Truth) that requires less (and eventually no) energy to create or maintain.

I believe, therefore, that there are two ways in which the universe is becoming conscious of itself. On the one hand it is inventing limited physical and mental ‘programs’ to help perceive itself (our sensory capacities and the mental capacities to ponder the information we collect via our senses). On the other, as the universe loses energy for maintaining its delusional state, there are occasional ‘gaps’ in the force fields that prevent us from perceiving the underlying Truth, allowing the Truth to ‘bleed through’ into our awareness. Some people’s minds seem more lacking in force fields than others, and these people are more likely to see past the delusion, if only briefly and intermittently.

It is an interesting theory that, during the universe’s early inflationary period, it ‘borrowed’ from its dark energy to create the appropriate amount of visible energy to balance its negative and positive forces, creating the relatively slowly expanding universe with ‘things’ in it we know today. But, the theory says, the energy borrowed will have to be paid back at the end of the universe. So, in this example, we see apparent non-existence (a state of being with no visible energy) creating existence (visible energy) by transforming some of its dark energy into a positive state. But that positive state will eventually run out of usable energy to keep creating things and become void (apparently dead). This is entropy working at the secondary universal level, where it appears that ‘something’ has been created out of ‘nothing’, but that ‘something’ will inevitably return to ‘nothing’. (In religious terms, the universe as a whole plays out the idea of ‘Ashes to ashes, dust to dust’.)

However, as I have explained above, there is a more fundamental level of entropy (which sees the Void as an energy-full, negative ‘something’, rather than an energy-less ‘nothing’) at work that means that the true cycle of Delusion is not from death to life and back again, but from life (awareness of Truth) to death (Delusion) and back again.

I therefore believe that physicists’ predictions of the future of the universe, while useful in demonstrating certain operational principles such as entropy, are not accurate. Their predictions are based on the continuance of the universe as a mindless physical state, and do not take into account the universe’s becoming aware of the truth about itself. Awareness of the truth is a total ‘game changer’, or, in this case, it means the end of the game.

My third reason for believing that Delusion will eventually become conscious of the Truth is that Delusion is carrying out its struggle in an ultimately supportive environment – that is, the universal True Self is totally aware of and unafraid of Delusion’s conflicts, and therefore fully able to love Delusion and trust its capacity to make its way out of its self-generated nightmare, and return ‘home’ to consciousness. That is to say, the Truth isn’t going anywhere – it is utterly dependable in its existence and is constantly there reminding Delusion of the Truth. I once had the words appear in my mind ‘Awareness is Love’, which I interpreted to mean that it was not healthy for me to deny my own fears and self-destructive impulses, but instead I should allow myself to be conscious of these, and feel them, so that I can love myself fully. So, while Delusion denies both Truth and itself, and in doing so runs further and further from awareness of itself, Truth does not deny itself or Delusion, encouraging awareness, love and reintegration of the disintegrated self.

Does the Universe Have a Purpose?

So does the Universal Mind, in its entirety, have a purpose in existing? The Truth has no purpose, other than to be itself. Delusion has no purpose in the sense that it has no reason to exist. However, our delusional or ‘relative’ state of existence has a negative purpose to the extent that it is trying to remain unconscious of itself, and a positive purpose to the extent that it is on the way to regaining consciousness – the remembrance of its True self.

Summary of Key Concepts

The universe is structured according to two fundamental paradoxes. The first paradox is the simultaneous existence of Truth and Delusion (alternatively labelled Sanity & Insanity; Awareness & the Terror of Awareness; Consciousness & Unconsciousness; Wholeness & Disintegration) with Truth as the underlying state contradicted but not eradicated by Delusion. The second paradox, within the state of Delusion, is the simultaneous existence of the Terror of Existence and the Denial of the Terror of Existence (the unconscious pretence that one is dead, and the unconscious pretence that one is alive) with the Terror of Existence (death) as the underlying state contradicted but not eradicated by the Denial of the Terror of Existence (life). In terms of the physical universe these states are represented by the ‘non-existent’ Void and the ‘existent’ visible universe. In human terms this paradox is represented by a person’s individual nonexistence, followed by their life (and return to death), and also by a person’s suppression of awareness of their individual self, which ‘dies’ to be replaced by a false social identity.

Truth and Delusion in Religion, Science and Economics

If we look at particular universal phenomena both these levels of paradox can be seen at work. For instance, according to my current judgement, religious/spiritual experience can be a genuine perception of the underlying Truth or communications of the Universal Awareness/Subconscious Mind, but religion is full of false negativity (eg. threatening demands for mindless obedience to particular rules, rituals and interpretations; perceptions of God as a dominating terroriser; ‘Satanic’ violence and self-mutilation) and false positivity (eg. the belief that ‘we’re all happy because God loves us’, or that holiness and inner peace can be gained by the denial of one’s natural needs or by the use of crystals, incense and other ‘magical’ paraphernalia. There are also many spiritual practitioners who claim to be in touch with Truth/God, who may only have experienced this state briefly (if at all) and who are now trying to artificially recreate the experience through rituals or meditation, rather than focusing on the truth of how they actually feel now.)

Similarly, science can be genuine observations of universal phenomena and the effort to understand these, but is often distorted by the ‘negative’ denial of the existence of certain phenomena (such as the Subconscious Mind or other integrated, highly flexible, symbolic or intermittent phenomena that are not easily controlled or artificially recreated for the purpose of repetitive experimentation) as well as by the ‘positive’ delusion that the ever increasing control of phenomena through technology and artificial chemistry will lead to a state of increasing, and perhaps one day total, security and happiness for all. (I am aware that some people believe it is technically possible to Terraform Mars, but I am afraid that, overall, I have only seen evidence of the human capacity, through technological, social and individual psychological dysfunction, to Marsiform the biologically viable Earth.)

In the sphere of human economics (which can be defined as the use of energy to create security), human behaviour is relatively ‘true’ when resources are used in a way that takes account of the need for balance (so that no single individual or group of lifeforms becomes dominant to the detriment of life as a whole), or when someone uses resources to increase their understanding of themselves or the universe as a whole (which furthers the universe’s journey towards the zero energy, fully secure, state of Truth). Examples of these genuinely economic behaviours are rare amongst humans, however; instead we are lost in a fog of negative delusions that make us afraid to use resources to care about and find out about ourselves, as well as positive delusions that lead us to believe in illusions of security (such as excess material gain, the capacity to inflict violence, and the valuing of money in and of itself) that lead to the waste and destruction of the real physical/biological resources necessary for survival. Thus, the negative economic delusion says there are not enough resources available to genuinely care about ourselves, and the positive economic delusion says that there are unlimited resources available to create an unlimited physical existence, where we (or a few of us, at least), are free to do whatever we want to forget our pain and fear. A dedicated capitalist (and very insane) acquaintance of mine recently told me ‘I see no limits in nature’: a clearly absurd comment when of course, physical and biological existence is constructed out of limitations, which are evident everywhere. In global economic terms, modern humans represent the principle of the entropic return to the ‘death’ state. Through being insane enough to have no capacity to recognise the balance of elements required to keep an energetic system going, humans are forcing the balance of biological life and death towards full planetary death long before the Earth might have returned there through the impact of other universal forces. Using ever increasing amounts of force/energy, in ever less sophisticated ways, to create an artificial security destroys the relatively sophisticated, functional coordination of elements that we require to continue to exist in the real, physical/biological world.

Further Issues in Science and Religion

Reductionist science defines insanity as that which exists inside an individual mind in contradiction with what exists ‘outside’ – that is, the reality created by the universe as a whole. Its techniques for discovering the truth about reality therefore depend on measuring and observing things that can be repeatedly measured and observed, coming up with the same results. Given the human penchant for making up fictional stories and believing in them, scientific techniques can be really useful in debunking myths (assuming the delusional person is emotionally ready to have their myths debunked.) There are a number of problems with limiting oneself to a reductionist scientific approach to understanding, however. Firstly, it assumes that physical reality (created by energy in some form, void or visible) is fundamentally true, and will always exist, because, from a human perspective, it has existed for a very long time so far. Secondly, like any human, a scientist’s perception of reality, even via the collection of evidence, is still affected by their unconscious fears. To the extent they are unaware of these fears, they will be completely unaware of the way their perception is being distorted and manipulated. A scientist liking the idea of fearless objectivity does not necessarily mean they are capable of enacting it. Thirdly, reductionist science fails to appreciate that a fictional story may be unreal in its details, but may still symbolically represent relative or ultimate truths. Hence, I consider religious and supernatural stories to be like current science-fiction/fantasy – embedded in the complex mass of evidentially fictional characters, events and states of being (from a physical world point of view), there are true descriptions of the way Truth and Delusion operate. These are the things that ‘fascinate’ us as listeners, readers and viewers. However, if one believes that the detail of a fictional story is real rather than symbolic, this leads to much unnecessary conflict about what constitutes reality.

An example of a religious belief that both sheds light on and confuses the truth is the idea that humans are ‘made in God’s image’. If taken very literally, one might look at an old man with a beard, or a beautiful, stately looking woman, and believe that this is what God/the Goddess looks like. Religion also presents God the Creator as a positive, conscious force, which therefore means that humans, too, must be a positive, conscious, creative force (hooray!). However, another way to interpret this idea is that humans (and, in fact, all living entities) are made in the image of God, but in the sense that individual minds represent the confusion over existence inherent in the nature of the universal Delusion that created us. The idea that being made in God’s image is a good thing is, I believe, simply an example of Delusion (through individual minds) trying to justify and sanitise its existence, because it is too scared to face the rather more horrible truth. No-one wants to know that God (our Delusional universal Mind) destroyed our memory of our true self for no reason, before replacing it with a limited, tortured substitute (for which we are supposed to be grateful). Personally, the idea that I would worship my own insanity, rather than attempting to heal from it, makes me physically ill. However, it makes sense that Delusion would worship its own destructive and creative power, if it is still in an unconscious state where it believes this power to be destroying things that are genuinely threatening and creating things that are necessary and useful.

So, I believe that religions are generally confused about the true state of ‘God’, and mix up ideas about God the Existent Being (the nonforcing, aware, unlimited Truth) and God the Creator (the unaware, forceful, unstable anti-being, Delusion). This confusion results in contradictions in theology that cause much frustration for atheists – for instance, how can one reconcile an all-powerful creator who is conscious and ‘good’ with an entity that allows so much conflict and pain in the world? To say that God allows humans free will to make their own choices about being good or evil seems a nasty game to play, if God created humans in the first place. Why not just create them to be ‘good’? I believe, however, that there is an element of truth in the ‘free will’ concept: the Truth has real power to exist as itself, but no power to be destructive or creative or forcefully influence Delusion’s self-destructive misperceptions. It is not possible to fix a problem in someone else’s mind if you did not cause the problem, and since Delusion created its own problem, Delusion (and its human representatives) have sole responsibility for fixing it. In the end, it is up to Delusion to choose between consciousness and unconsciousness, and while the Truth is always there to be perceived, it leaves Delusion completely free to make its own assessment of what is genuinely true and valuable. It could be said that the purpose of evolution is for Delusion to finally become aware that it has a choice – to realise that it made the original choice to run away from the Truth, so it now has the power to choose differently.

It can be seen, therefore, that the Truth has no need for or interest in control over itself, including its paradoxical Delusional aspect. Delusion, on the other hand, does require control – it controls its awareness and its fear because it is too scared to face the full Truth in one hit, and must find ways of managing its fear while it sorts out what went wrong in the first place.

Many religious people believe in individual souls that travel from physical individual to physical individual as they live and die. Some also believe that certain human individuals have achieved a state of full enlightenment/knowledge of themselves as ‘God’ and thus made it to nirvana/heaven ahead of the rest of us. Some believe that every physical individual ‘goes to Heaven’ when they die, as long as they have been ‘good’ according to the local cultural tradition. However, because there are no individuals (divided states of being) in a state of Truth, I believe that there is only one soul (the fundamental Truth) that exists outside the realm of physical life/death. And, as the Delusional universe can only make it home to fully inhabit this soul by perceiving and acknowledging the truth about its current delusional state, the evidence suggests that no individual has yet fully realised their true nature and returned ‘home’. Past spiritual leaders, while perhaps experiencing moments of Truth, were severely disadvantaged in their capacity to understand the full nature of the Delusion that bound them. It has only been in the past century or so (and perhaps the last 25 years) that physics, cosmology and psychology have developed to an extent that the true physical and psychological structure of the Delusional universe can potentially be perceived.

I do not believe that every currently existing individual mind in the Delusional universe has to become aware of the truth about itself in order for the Delusional universe as a whole to become self-realised. Rather, because each individual mind is representative of the universal mind, if a single individual mind within the universe gains awareness of the full truth, it will recognise itself as the universal level Delusion (God the unwitting Creator), and when it does, the entire artificial, disintegrated universe will disappear. That is, in recognising that the construction of its Delusional self was unnecessary, the universe will have ‘changed its mind’, and all the behaviours (effects without genuine cause) that emanated from its original mistake in perception will cease to exist.


In my current state of existence, I often feel angry about what Delusion has done to itself, and how I/we suffer as a result. This anger is a necessary part of waking up to my individual and universal problem, and it gives me the strength to take personal responsibility for fixing it. However, I am also moved by what an astounding achievement it is for a mind that had lost itself, to build another (collective) mind out of delusions (the only resource at hand) capable of returning it ‘home’ to True unified awareness.

Although I believe that the universe we normally think of as real is fundamentally a delusion, this does not lead me to expect to achieve a state of full consciousness of Truth by merely ‘focusing on heaven’, without engaging in the difficulties and conflicts of the world as it exists. It takes no courage to imagine being ‘one with the universe’, and this pastime is understandably much more popular amongst humans than acknowledging and feeling the truth of one’s current painful state of self-conflict. It is very obvious to me, however, that I must allow myself to fully experience the world as real (which is certainly how it feels), letting myself feel deeply all of my emotional reactions to conflict and cooperation, life and death, fear and love, as a means to understand my individual and universal self more truly. I do not believe it is possible to return to a state of Truth without honestly acknowledging the reality of my personal, global and universal level insanity, and feeling the fear, pain, anger and sadness generated by this highly conflictual state of being.

It is most often when I stand up for myself against threats to my selfhood that I become conscious of my deepest fears, and I believe that striving for free, relatively fearless selfhood in this world is in fact necessary as the evolutionary means to achieve the goal of a return to fully unified self-awareness for the universe as a whole.

Note: Explanation of Fearless or Unforced Awareness

Fearless or Unforced Awareness is an aspect or level of consciousness that impels one to gradually become aware of, consciously experience and disband the effects of the terror in one’s own mind. Terror is the fearful and insane denial of one’s own existence – a (generally unconscious) dysfunctional mental state that intensifies if it is attacked, denied or controlled out of fear, and that naturally dissipates if it is freely allowed to exist in the mind.

Although there are many elements that make up the practice of fearless awareness, one way of describing it is that it feels like ‘allowing whatever I am focusing on to exist’ rather than mentally backing away from/being scared of/being in conflict with/trying to control/feeling ‘stuck’ about/denying the existence of whatever is requiring my attention. The key to its successful use is to use it to be aware of when I am mentally paralysed and in denial, and to consciously allow this negative state to exist – after a certain period of time, the fear/blockage evaporates naturally and I can now focus on what was underneath it (perhaps an emotion or sensation I was afraid to feel, an event I was afraid to allow to occur, an observation I was afraid to make, an insight or concept I was unable to fully realise or a behaviour I was afraid to enact). Basically, fearless awareness is the process of dealing with panic-stricken loss of consciousness by not panicking about it – if I allow the fear to feel ‘safe’ by giving it time and space to exist, it no longer has anything to panic about and therefore naturally ceases to exist.


My concepts are primarily the result of research conducted with my co-researcher Robert J. Burrowes, involving 1) intensive observations of my own and Robert’s sensing, emotional, conceptual, memory, behavioural and physical functions and dysfunctions, with a particular focus on the way genetically based and socially exacerbated fear interferes with the fully integrated functioning of these facets of consciousness, and 2) observations of the functional and dysfunctional aspects of the mentalities of other living organisms, as evidenced by their behaviour. (For details, see my article Fearless Psychology and Fearful Psychology: Principles and Practice.)

In addition, I would like to acknowledge some of the people whose concepts, documentation of evidence or personal experience feel particularly significant in helping me to develop, clarify and/or give me confidence in my own conceptions. Many of these people are popular science fiction writers – I find science fiction particularly useful because of the way it integrates information from so many knowledge disciplines, including the Subconscious Mind, often giving a more whole picture of reality than it is possible to get from within one discipline only.

1. Hal Hartley for the title of his film The Unbelievable Truth.

2. Sybil Dorsett (pseudonym), Dr Connie Wilbur and (author) Flora Rheta Schreiber for the description of the extraordinary attributes of an unconscious, disintegrated mind, its suffering and its capacity to reintegrate and heal through self-awareness in Sybil: The True Story of a Woman Possessed by Sixteen Separate Personalities.

3. Terry Pratchett, for his concepts of Tiffany (a witch who defeats a mindless, insane fear that has existed since the beginning of the universe by fearlessly welcoming it into her mind) in A Hat Full of Sky; the prison cell with the door barred from the inside in Guards! Guards! and many other conceptual gems in these and other novels.

4. Lawrence M. Krauss for his physics based discussions of how the universe came into existence in his book A Universe From Nothing: Why There is Something Rather Than Nothing.

5. Roger Penrose for his explanation of quantum theory, with its counterfactuals, non-locality, paradoxes and questions regarding the relationship of consciousness to physical reality, and his own sophisticated mathematical/physical/biological approach to issues of consciousness in his book Shadows of the Mind.

6. Dr Judith Rapoport for her description of the torment of the OCD sufferer who ‘doesn’t know how to know’ in her book The Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Washing: The Experience and Treatment of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

7. David Attenborough for his television documentaries on nature and biological evolution.

8. The Wachowski brothers for their concepts of the Matrix (an artificially created reality), the Oracle (a universal awareness), the Architect (a balancer of forces), Agent Smith (the ultimate death principle) and Neo (the ultimate life principle) in The Matrix trilogy films.

9. George Orwell for his concept of the betrayal of love and self-love through terror (the rat-cage) in his novel 1984.

10. Mary Shelley, for her concept of a creator whose fear makes him incapable of loving and taking responsibility for his creation, and for her representation of the terrible emotional and behavioural consequences of self-rejection, in her novel Frankenstein.

11. Terry Gilliam for his portrayal of individual and social manifestations of insanity in his film Brazil.

12. Peter Carey for his concept of ‘waking up in the hell of one’s ordinary life’ in his novel Bliss.

13. Monty Python for the line ‘Yes, we’re all individuals!’ in their film Life of Brian.

14. The Goodies, Monty Python and Matt Groening et. al. (The Simpsons) for exposing the rules by not taking them seriously.

15. Chris Boucher for his concept of Xoanon, an insane living computer who creates an external world of conflict representing the agony of his own conflictual mind, in Doctor Who: The Face of Evil.

16. Bob Baker and Dave Martin for their concept of Omega, who, trapped in a black hole, creates a universe of his own, which gradually becomes simpler as he loses emotional energy for recreating an attractive illusion to cover his lonely existence, in Doctor Who: The Three Doctors.

17. Chris Boucher for his concept of the Fendahl, an entity evolved to be death, and the question ‘How can you kill death itself?’ in Doctor Who: The Image of the Fendahl.

18. Russel T. Davies for his concept of Bad Wolf (a time travelling, self-communicating universal awareness) in the first modern series of Doctor Who.

19. Matt Jones for his concept of a destructive mentality that existed ‘before time’, in Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit.

20. Paul Cornell for his concept of a greater mentality which hides itself within the limits of a lesser mentality who is then scared to give up his limitations and return to greatness, in Doctor Who: Human Nature/Family of Blood.

21. Steven Moffat for his concept of a continually reconfiguring trap which is escaped, over time, by the Doctor’s admission of truth, and by his persistence in believing he can wear down an almost impermeable wall, in Doctor Who: Heaven Sent; and for his concepts of layers of delusion created by ‘dream crab’ parasites, Santa Claus as a subconscious saviour, and the line ‘We…Are…All…Dead’, in Doctor Who: Last Christmas.

22. John Wyndham for his dissertations on evolution, questions regarding the sanity or insanity of God and emphasis on the importance of quality of mind in his novel The Chrysalids.

23. David Eddings for his concepts of the ‘awarenesss of the purpose of the Universe’, and the simultaneous negative/positive prophecy in The Belgariad novel series.

24. Julian May for her concepts of Unity, Atoning Unifex and mental evolution through consciousness of pain in her Galactic Milieu Trilogy novels.

25. The creators of all fictional versions of emotionally limited, self-denying robots with delusions of grandeur (eg. Daleks, Cybermen, the Borg), and the undead (eg. vampires, zombies) who ‘exist’ despite being dead.

26. The creators of all fictional robots (such as Data from Star Trek: Next Generation) who aspire to be, or behave as if they are, ‘human’.

27. Mikel Simic for the song ‘This Broken Dream’ from the album Journey Through the Land of Shadows by Mikelangelo and the Black Sea Gentlemen.


I would also like to acknowledge Robert, my beautiful sweetheart, for never failing to love, listen to and look after me; the support of all those who have helped Robert and myself financially and materially since 1996, most especially Jim and Beryl Burrowes, without whom our journey would have been impossible; and the Universal Awareness for unerringly cornering me into having to face those things I least want to face, but always gain from doing so.

Anita McKone
P.O. Box 68
Daylesford Victoria 3460

14 October 2018



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